Dreadful night and Dreadful Morning..

Last night when i was about to sleep,

My mum suddenly woke me up and scold me..

She cried..and blaming me as the one to make her feel sad bcoz of my relationship failure..

n ask me y the things he gave me was missing in the house..

i can just lie to her n say: no la..juz dun wan so many toys on my bed..so i kept it in cupboard lo..

I understand how she feels..but I cant tell the truth..

Wat she understands now was Im the one who asked for break up..

n the reason is Im fed up of his bullshit attitude and I dont love him anymore..

She kept blaming me for being a bad person who dunno how to appreciate sumone who treated me so gud..

I really feel like crying on the spot..n tell the truth..

but i choose not to..

bcoz i dun wan her to protect me everytime..

Bcoz human will stand up once they fall..

the whole week she had been mumbling because of that..

include when i was in camp, she also call back n talk bout it..

everyday also ask me the same thing: did he find u??

i can juz say no..he will nvr ever..for my whole life..anymore..

i noe she is sad..very very very sad..

but im oni the real victim la!!!!

i can juz say i duno i duno n i duno la in front of her..

make her get mad n leave my room..

once she switch off the lights..

tears started to fall..

the whole night i was thinking again..

until 5 sumthg i oni can slp..

but then when it was around 8

i was half asleep half awake..

i heard my mum asking my uncle..

y do boys go pub?? nowadays boys juz want girls for fun??

arrrrrgggggghhh!!!!!

i juz want to get some peace!!!! but i cant!!!!

everyone said dat home is the best place to hide urslf..

to show ur tenders..

but im not the one!!!!! i din experienced this!!!

alot of things..i haf to face it alone!!!

n pretend in front of them..i dun want them to feel even more sad bcoz of me..

for nonsense reason!!!!

i can juz take a deep breath n smile back n cheer them up..

juz hide in toilet n cry or cry when i bath..

cry oso cant cry for very long when i bath..

coz they will suspect..haiz..tense la..

im waiting for wednesday now..

ka keen, a guy i knew when I was working in sg wang will bring me go genting..

n acc me sit roller coasters!!!!

sumtimes i reli wish to commit suicide.. to runaway from alot lot of problems..

but i noe i wont..bcoz there's still lots of things i want to do..n i want to take revenge..

my face after being spilt water..my eyeliner is still there!!! i wanna b like my eyeliner!!