I Broke My Promise Again..

"I will nvr cry for him anymore.." this was what i told myslf since last week..
but now i broke my promise le...
since yesterday someone edited a blog to take revenge for me...
wat they said was real..was the truth..then the jerk used my past to talk bad about me..
even his sis also attack me using my past..
im crying now..im reli very sad...
this six months..i really use my whole heart to love him...
no matter what he want, what he needs i will gif him without thinking so much..
bcoz i wanna make him happy to be with me..dats y i never reject...
i can hide my past and lie to him..but i choose not to..
because im really serious in this relationship..i reli hope dat there is a happy ending..
thats y i chose honesty..
my classmates noe well..how much i haf sacrificed for him...
they noe i cant stand under the sun to c him swim..but i still do so..n support him..
c him improve n support him bhind there...
they noe i hate cooking but they c me keep doing food for him..
i reli do alot if things for him..
but in the end things ended up in betray..
and now he can still stand still to talk sumthg bad about me...
i was like...u noe?the feelings is...WHY?
so much of love..so much of spirit and worries..were all wasted...
i was anticipating for his birthday before this..
i was composing a song for him..wanna jamming le..
i wanted to c his happy face during his birthday..but i couldnt make it..
i was reli upset...
i told myslf b4.. i wanna make an album of my own to the guy i love the most..
n i reli hope dat it was him...but...
izzit my fate to meet guys who never appreciate me and just wanted me for sex?
my feelings were so complicated...
a woman's heart is as deep as ocean..
no body will noe how the pain im facing now..
ppl oways c me scold ppl and laughing outside there..
but how many ppl ever c me crying and still mourn for it?
they will just think dat i get new bf, go out wif guys, wanted sex...and im a slut..
in my whole life..i will nvr sex..juz make love...
this is my personal concept..my point of view...
i remember dat day..i hlp sumone to write out lyrics once i finish slapped him..
the lyrics was so sad..so meaningful...haiz...
but nobody noes wat happen to me..
nvm la...ppl who understand me will noe my feelings..
thank you so much for hlping me take revenge..comfort me...
for those who talk bad bout me..
i wont blame u...
bcoz u duno me...